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Friends and Family,

Well, I don’t have any grand stories about meeting famous people or going to Academy Awards theatres or anything this week, but it will still go down as a memorable week, simply because I got so stressed out over things going wrong, and trials always have a way of teaching me things. I’ll explain…

It seems like every time I do any kind of work-intensive program, I always have a period of time about 2 weeks before it’s over when I get sick to death of it, and want to leave. It happened last summer about two weeks before I was done being videographer at Cooperstown Bible Camp, and it happened this past week out here at USC. On Monday, a bunch of things fell through on the film I was trying to work on this past week, and I was left with an idea for a script, but no actors to be in it. On top of that, various other things happened throughout the course of Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday that just kind of helped push my stress along: parking tickets, in-class films I was directing not running smoothly, getting charged for renting props that I thought I had gotten for free, and various conversations with people that really stressed me out. None of them were very big deals in and of themselves, but having one thing after the next keep hitting me just really me sent over
the edge, and by Wednesday, I was so fed up with everything that I wanted to either pack up and head home, or just roll up in a ball and hibernate for the rest of the summer.

I still hadn’t filmed by that time, and really didn’t know how I could film, because the actors I had tried to line up for my film had fallen through, and it was too late to get any new actors. This stressed me out a ton, and so I tried several times over the course of those three days to check my brain out from my work in order to regain my sanity, but every time I did that, I just couldn’t turn my brain off of work/worry mode. I tried reading Scripture and praying, but as soon as I started reading, my mind just began jumping from film idea to film idea, and I left that time even more stressed out, because I knew that none of the film ideas I had come up with were achievable in the short period of time I had to pull them off.

Well, eventually I called my parents up, and my dad reminded me that I had four hours of penguin footage from when we were down in Antarctica this past January. He suggested I try and do something with that, and so I eventually settled on making a film called “Penguin Jazz,” which is essentially a film about penguins waddling around to jazz music, while a night club-like voice-over by me talks about how smooth and suave the penguins are. “Ah Penguin, you are so poised and graceful, like a dolphin at sea, like an eagle in flight…” (That’s how I started out the film)

So anyways, things finally came together at the end of the week, and my class enjoyed “Penguin Jazz” quite a bit, but I think the thing that really struck me about this week was what I learned through all the stress. You see, I had an epiphany about the remedy for stress: it comes through gaining perspective. I’ll explain what I mean…

When everything was going wrong on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I just felt completely defeated. One blow would hit me, and I’d react negatively to it and get in a bad mood over it. Then another would hit, and I’d react even more negatively to that one, because I was already in a bad mood. Then another would hit and the cycle would keep going until I felt like I was just bouncing around out of control in a pinball machine, doing nothing but fighting against each new bad thing that happened.

But notice that I only said that I “felt” like I was bouncing around out of control in the pinball machine. My perspective was that I was stuck in that pinball machine, and therefore each blow really did make me feel out of control. But gaining perspective made me realize that I was not in a pinball machine, but it was more like I was super-glued to the ground, and all the bad things happening were just things bouncing up against me, but didn’t really need to be moving me.

You see, shifting perspective helped me realize that the bad circumstances were just that: circumstances. They did not control me. They were just things about which I could either get stressed or have peace.

It is so easy to get caught up in bad circumstances when they keep hitting, but I guess the key to dealing with stress is being able to view those circumstances from a different angle…to pull yourself out of the pinball machine and say, “OK, are those circumstances really messing my life up as much as I feel like they are?” And I would say that most of the time, the answer is probably “No.” (Of course, there are certainly exceptions, and there are many truly tragic circumstances that can happen in one’s life, but for the most part, things really aren’t as bad as they look when you’re caught up in the middle of them.)

At any rate, the main reason I find that circumstances are never as tragic as they seem at first is because I have faith in God. And God is in Sovereign control of everything. And bad circumstances in my life don’t change that fact one bit. He is still in control, and I am therefore super-glue-secured right in His plan for my life (which inevitably includes bad circumstances).

I guess that security is a lot like Luke 6:48 (the wind can’t knock my house over if it’s built on the rock) and 2 Corinthians 4:8 (I’m struck down, but not destroyed).

Gaining that shift in perspective is often tough when I’m stuck right in the middle of the pinball machine like I was on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. But I think there are three things that help me shift perspective and see the circumstances for what they really are. For one thing, talking with someone about the things that are bothering me helps me look at those things from a different angle. Also, praying and reading the promises of the Bible helps me shift perspective because it really helps me put my faith back in God’s sovereignty, and helps me see my circumstances from His eyes instead of my own. And finally, just simply taking time out from whatever is bothering me and putting my thought toward something else also helps me shift perspective on the negative circumstances. Taking that time out and shifting thought can either come in the form of a good night’s sleep (although there is no thought involved there), a half hour focused on reading a book instead of fo
cusing on the things bothering me, or even just spending time thinking about and enjoying the antics of penguins (in other words, working on the penguin video was really what helped me shift perspective on my stressful circumstances this past week).

It was odd to me that I didn’t get unstressed when I read the Bible and prayed toward the beginning of this past week, but looking back on it, I realize that it was because I was not approaching it with the right attitude. I was not truly coming into it trying to see things from God’s perspective, and I certainly was not taking time out from my worrying in any sense. Rather, I was just bouncing around in the pinball machine, trying to read the Bible, but not even being able to focus on what I was reading because my arms were shaking so much from the movement of being bounced around.

I have a much-enriched perspective on Psalm 46:10 now: “Be still and know that I am God…” That is so essential when dealing with stress. I just have to quiet my soul, stop worrying about everything around me, know that God is God, and then readjust my perspective on my circumstances with that in mind.

Hmmm. Well, this weekly update has turned into kind of a cross between a journal and a sermon. I hope it’s kept you interested nonetheless.

All of this does apply to what I’m learning about film as well though, because I have just realized how important it is to make films about what you know, and therefore this next week’s film is going to be very much about what I just described in this e-mail. It will be called “Writer’s Block,” and will be about a very stressed out writer who is trying to come up with a story and who is trying to find peace at the same time.

Well, I’ll close this e-mail by saying that I have been very glad to hear that so many of you have been enjoying these e-mails, and I guess that makes our relationship very symbiotic, because writing these e-mails has really been one of my favorite things that I’ve done while out here. It is very therapeutic for me to collect my thoughts at the end of each week and give a report on my experience. I guess it really helps me learn a lot more from the circumstances I go through when I spend all this time processing through them.

OK, off to bed.

In Christ,
Dave/David/Shabotz

Friends and Family,

Well, here we are again: Three weeks done at USC and only three to go.

Update: This was definitely my most rewarding week yet in the program out here. I didn’t learn as much in class as I had in previous weeks (though I still learned a ton), but the great experience I had making my film more than made up for it. I think the reason my filmmaking experience this week was so great is because my film was such a personal expression of what I’ve come to learn in life. I’ll explain:

One thing that I have struggled with for a long time is the recognition-produces-confidence syndrome (don’t try and look that up in a psychology book, because I just made the term up). You see, for quite a few years, I’ve had this tendency to heavily base my self-worth on the recognition I receive for my talents. It all started when I learned how to improvise and compose piano music during my sophomore year of high school. I learned the craft rather quickly, and all the sudden people were constantly complimenting me on my piano playing. I really enjoyed the recognition I got and grew more confident because of it, but also started hinging my confidence upon that recognition.

The problem with doing that is that it inevitably leads to periods of depression whenever either a) recognition doesn’t come or b) you come across someone who is better at what you do than you are. Sure, if you’re pretty good at the piano, there are going to be a lot of times when people compliment you for your skills, but there are going to be just as many times when they either don’t know about your skills, or they are more skilled than you are.

Both of these things happened to me when I started up college at Taylor three years ago. I found that no one knew I played the piano like they did back in North Dakota. So what did I do? I always walked around Taylor with six of my CDs stuck in my cargo pockets, and every time music would come up in conversation, I’d say that I had made a CD of my piano compositions, I’d take the CD out, and I’d try and sell it to whomever I was talking to. Now the reason I did this was not because I needed lots of money, but because I needed recognition of my skills to keep up my confidence, and I felt that recognition would come through getting my CD into the hands of as many Taylor people as I could.

Also, I found that there were musicians at Taylor who were much better than me, and that totally intimidated me. Seriously, how was I supposed to interact with these talented people if they weren’t awed by my skills?

Well, eventually I got involved in a few musical things at Taylor, and started making movies for campus events like Nostalgia Night, PROBE, and various other things, and finally I was set…people recognized me for my skills, and I could confidently rest in that recognition.

But obviously I was still in a bad situation, because I was not resting confidently in God’s love for me and the fact that I had been “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Now, first I must back up and say that I was definitely resting in God’s love for me at times…but there was still always a tension between resting in that love, and resting in recognition, and I definitely was less confident in new situations where people didn’t know about my piano and filmmaking abilities.

But eventually I came to realize that my confidence didn’t need to be based on recognition, and that really helped me when I came out to USC, because I have found that I am surrounded by talented filmmakers out here, and I definitely don’t stand out of the crowd much for my abilities, and as a result, I don’t get nearly as much recognition for what I do. Sure, I get positive feedback, but nothing like the recognition I get elsewhere.

But the great thing about basing my confidence in God rather than recognition is that the lack of praise for my abilities doesn’t shake me at all. In fact the only time I got even remotely unconfident during these past three weeks was when I was reminiscing on the fact that Orson Welles directed, wrote, produced, and starred in “Citizen Kane” when he was only three years older than I am (but that only shook me up for about a half-hour). But nothing else has shaken me in the slightest. It’s unbelievable, and has led to me not even having a social shell from which to escape out here. I’ve been confidently getting to know people from day one.

So now I am in a situation where meeting talented filmmakers (and musicians) does not intimidate me, but simply gives me a great opportunity to learn from them and to enjoy the company of others with similar interests.

OK, now all of this leads to my film this week. It was called “Serenade,” and was about an unconfident guy who happens to be very good at the guitar. A little ways into the film, he gets a crush on a girl he sees reading by a tree on his college campus and tries several times to build up the confidence to approach and meet her, but ultimately can’t do it, so he decides to catch her attention by playing guitar near her. But this ultimately fails, because he finds out that this girl is also very good at the guitar. Now he can’t receive recognition from her, so he has no chance of confidently wooing her, right? Well, eventually he snaps out of his self-pity over her skills, and realizes that he doesn’t need to impress her and receive her recognition, but just needs to enjoy her as another person with similar interests. So he grabs another guitar, and the film closes with a shot of the two of them playing guitar together and enjoying one another’s company.

Again, this film was so rewarding to make because it was a very personal expression of the life lesson that I’ve learned recently. So this past week, not only did I get to base my film around the wants and objectives of a character (to get the girl), but I also got to express myself in a very personal way. Man, I love art!
Other than making my film, the biggest thing that happened this week was going to “Chariots of Fire” in the Motion Picture Academy theatre. That was very enjoyable, and gave me the opportunity to meet some more Christians in the industry. Most notably, I had the opportunity to have dessert afterwards with a guy who has served as the personal assistant to David Lean, Sydney Pollack, and Robert Redford on some of their films. He was very interesting to talk with, and had a vast wealth of knowledge and experience in the film industry, so I feel very privileged to have gotten to know him.

Prayer: I am getting so caught up in my films that I feel I am neglecting other areas of my life…namely people and God. I am finding myself avoiding some opportunities to hang out with people in my class (like on weekends) because I want to make sure and give myself enough time to brainstorm for each following week’s film. That time has definitely been fruitful brainstorming time, but I also feel that I’m missing many opportunities to interact with and minister to my classmates. So please pray that I would be able to wisely balance my time between classmates and class.

Also, a big struggle for me in my faith is the discipline to give God time every day. I have definitely been praying and reading the Bible while I’ve been out here, but I haven’t been as consistent about it as I’d like. So please pray that I would pray.

(Cool little puns I ended those last two paragraphs with, aren’t they? Now you won’t have any trouble remembering how to pray for me)

Other than that, things are going great, and I can totally see God working. I came into this summer thinking it would be a lonely time, and that I wouldn’t really feel at home in LA until the fall semester, but I am finding that I love it hear, am learning so much, and am meeting all kinds of great people…and that’s definitely an answer to prayer.

Later.

In Christ,
Dave/David/Shabotz

P.S. I’ve ended every weekly update thus far with a P.S., so I figured I might as well do it again.

Friends and family,

Thanks to the many of you who responded to last week’s update, and I apologize that I haven’t written back to hardly any of those responses. I just don’t have much free time for e-mailing this summer, and I received quite a few responses. I do really appreciate the responses though, and it was great to hear what many of you have been up to and that many of you will be praying for me.

I don’t know if I can quite describe the feeling it gave me to read through all the responses, but I guess it just gave me great comfort and a sense of companionship to realize that so many of you are thinking of me and praying for me while I’m out here…it was great to be reassured that I’m not in this alone. So thank you.

That said, I now move on to the update:

I am now done with two weeks of the six-week summer program at USC, and have been loving it. I created my first film this past week. It was called “Shiny Happy People,” and was based on the R.E.M. song by the same name. The film was about a “shiny happy” couple hanging out on a beach. The first half of the film portrays them simply having fun together, but then the second half of the film portrays the two of them having tantrums of sorts as little things go wrong in their lives. The whole way through the film, the “shiny happy” couple keeps running into a homeless guy and ignoring him. The point of the film was to comically portray two superficially happy people, and how their happiness was only skin deep.

Creating this film certainly taught me a little bit about filmmaking, but I found that the thing I learned the most from was the feedback I got from my professors on it. They helped me to realize that my entire approach to filmmaking thus far has been opposite of what it should be: I have always come up with events that I wanted to transpire in my films (student union taking off, I.M. conversations, etc.) and then created flat, one-dimensional characters to populate my films and bring about those events (in saying that, I’m not in any way belittling the acting of those of you who have been in my movies…you guys did great…I’m just saying that I didn’t give you much to work with in the scripts I came up with. I only wrote your parts to bring about events, not to portray real people). This plot-produces-character technique is often how films are created, but this is not how they ought to be created. Rather, writers/directors should start with the characters and the cha
racters’ wants and objectives, and should structure the film and the events that transpire therein around what motivates the characters. In other words, characters should bring about plot.

Then, when the film is structured around the wants and goals of the characters, it allows the actors to truly become those characters, and eventually leads to films where the audience can actually relate to the characters on a personal level.

This idea certainly clicks with many concepts I learned about acting in a class last semester, and makes a lot of sense to me. I am very excited to structure my next film around characters instead of events, and feel that I am about to go through a major breakthrough in my filmmaking abilities.

So yes, I started out this class a little bit afraid that I was such a good filmmaker that I wouldn’t learn anything from the class…but I am happy to inform you that I have realized that I have a long way to go in my abilities and have much to learn in this class.

Prayer: God is good. I’ve only been here two weeks and I already feel connected with the network of Christians in the entertainment industry. Granted I haven’t met many of them yet, but I have met a couple, and feel that they have completely taken me under their wings. My friend Ben (who I mentioned in last week’s update) is a good friend of a Christian producer out here named Ken. He produced the mini-series “Christy” on CBS several years ago and is right now in pre-production on a sequel to “Chariots of Fire.”

So anyways, Ben and I went to church today. After the service was over, Ben called up Ken, and Ken suggested we go out to lunch. As it turned out, Ken treated me, Ben, and J.R. (another young filmmaker in the area) to lunch and invited us to come and watch a special screening of “Chariots of Fire” tomorrow night at the Motion Picture Academy theatre (I think that’s the title of the theatre), which is in the heart of Hollywood, and is I guess the best theatre in the world.

I guess the thing that excited me about all of this is that it wasn’t like I just happened to meet this well-respected film producer who could serve as a good contact in the future. That’s not the issue at all. What excited me is that this older man in the area (who is also a well-respected film producer) decided to treat me to lunch and is truly investing time in me and Ben. He’s not just a contact…he’s a friend. That’s why I feel connected to the network out here: because I feel like there are people out here like Ken who will be watching out for me and helping me out as I try and discover where God wants me in the film industry. That is very reassuring and comforting.

As far as prayer requests go, please continue to pray that God would give Ben and I direction as to where He wants us in the film industry, that we would continue to grow in our abilities as filmmakers, and that we would continue to live our lives in a way that gives testimony to our classmates of the grace and hope we have through Christ.

In Christ,
Dave/David/Shabotz

P.S. For those of you who are confused why I sign these e-mails “Shabotz,” it is because that is what I am known as at Taylor. People there hardly ever call me by my real name. Very funny. I love it.

P.P.S. To all of you who just graduated…if I am sending these e-mails to your school e-mail accounts, and you have another account, please let me know what that is. I’m guessing that you won’t have access to your school accounts pretty soon here, so I’d like to know how to get ahold of you when that happens.

Hello Friends and Family,

As many of you know, I enjoy making films and plan to do that for my career in the future. As many of you also know, I am right now in the process of taking a huge step toward that future goal, and am taking summer school at the University of Southern California (top film school in the country). I arrived in Los Angeles last Friday (a week and a half ago) after a cross-country drive with my dad, and will be here until August 9th. After that, I head home for two weeks, and then come back to LA on August 23rd to begin studying for a semester at the Los Angeles Film Studies Center through my college (Taylor University).

As I told many of you about my summer and fall plans, a lot of you expressed interest in being kept updated on what I did out in LA, so I decided to put together an e-mail list, and send out weekly e-mails about my experiences out here. If you would not like to receive this weekly e-mail for the next six months or so, then just let me know. I won’t be offended.

But if you do want to stay updated on what’s going on with me out in LA, then just sit tight and wait for the e-mails to roll in every Sunday (day may vary). I guess the purpose of these e-mails is two-fold: I want to keep my friends and family updated on my exciting experiences out in LA, and I also would like to have my friends and family praying for me while I’m out here. So these e-mails will consist of updates and prayer requests.

Update: I’m in a class right now called Beginning Production Sequence, where I make five short films over the course of six weeks. I will be filming my first short film this Tuesday, and will be presenting it in class on Friday. I have already learned a lot of techniques through class lectures that I am really looking forward to implementing in this first film.

Additionally, I am enjoying the city lifestyle much more than I thought I would so far. Granted, it’s kind of limiting to not be able to walk alone at night, but on the other hand, it’s nice to have a grocery store, mall, and movie theatre right across the street from my apartment (no more 30-minute drives to Wal-Mart, ala Taylor!) Additionally, though the LA traffic made me a bit nervous at first, I’m actually finding that I kind of enjoy driving in it. It’s a fun challenge of sorts, and I feel an odd sense of satisfaction and accomplishment every time I successfully maneuver between cars and change lanes on the LA freeways…oh the simple pleasures in life…

It has also been fun spending time with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousin who live in the LA area.

Prayer Request: God has really reminded me how faithful He is to answer prayer this past week. I was a little bit nervous about starting summer school at USC where I knew no one, but my Mom had been praying for quite a while that I would meet a strong Christian guy out at USC who I would really connect with. I must admit that I hoped her prayer would be answered, but didn’t really believe it would. However, God worked it out so that I not only was sitting next to a strong Christian during the first day of class, but was even assigned to share my camera with him. We have gotten to know each other very well already this first week, and so I am very thankful for that.

Please pray that Ben (that is his name) and I would learn a lot about film these next five weeks, that God would really give direction to our lives as to where He wants us in the film industry (and even if He wants us in the film industry), that we would live our lives in a way that gives testimony to the grace and hope we have through Christ, and that others in our class would see our lives and want in on that grace.

Until next week…

In Christ,
Dave/David/Shabotz

P.S. If any of you want to respond to these e-mails, I’d love to hear what’s going on with all of you, however I can’t promise that I’ll be able to write individually to everyone who responds, as these e-mails are going out to many people and I don’t have tons of free time while I’m out here. I’ll do my best though.

P.P.S. My Taylor e-mail account is not letting me send out e-mails right now, so that is why I’m sending them from this temporary USC account. You can respond to my e-mails at my USC account for the next five weeks, but please take note of the fact that I only have access to this account until August 9th, so don’t send me e-mails here after that date. I’ll give you further contact information at that point.